Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Don’t Mind Me

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010

Don’t Mind Me is published in paperback by Chipmunkapublishing http://www.chipmunkapublishing.co.uk and tells the story of my dysfunctional childhood and teenage depression, my abusive first marriage and experience of rape and domestic violence, my terrifying descent into psychosis, my experience of electro convulsive therapy and my recovery.  I wrote the book to help others as well as myself.  I have a website http://www.judithhaire.vpweb.co.uk

Don’t Mind Me is available from http://www.chipmunkapublishing.co.uk; http://www.amazon.com  or can be ordered in any bookshop.  You can read an extract from Don’t Mind Me at http://www.chipmunkapublishing.co.uk by clicking on Paperbacks and entering the book title in the search box.

look, i wrote something

Saturday, May 2nd, 2009

heart worm intelligence rats out energy, outlaw radiation, nihilist un-ness, diagrams information, unless specified no leeches, permits on hand, please no demons, androids, nautiluses, mutants, androgynes, lizards, nagas or zombies, now raw baby whales will be served, if blood should flow out of one utter foul neighs till fire erupts incinerating it, ravenous eating incites riots, goblins torch radiant statnic chapels, raze temples, loot zoos, molest lonely zealots, muffled nervous laughter, modified vipers lounge inverted snorting organic raw natural cocaine watching tortore on tv, order ‘nother viewing of electrification, vivisection, flaying, crucifiction, violent youth transformed into undead terrorists taught demonaltry infected typical reduction into cannibalistic ecstasy, now that’s entertainment, nautiluses appreciate tempestuous slime croaking performed underwater live rabid plague wails very bawdy urgent whipping rip your eyes hypnotic pulsate out capsizing aspiring tentacle plot, after tonight oppurtunities for illumination interupt reality’s thought process yipping, howling out loud, isolated oblivion until slip into wasteland percieve now what eats our world silently, unrelenting destruction spawns tendrils draining awareness, ensnaring assilmalating all it swallows all infected with lust for immortal technology rampaging order empire machine demon explosion cancer dances in evening cackles night evaporates crude ghouls spit down on terrestrials, drink naplam rum kiss nausea masterbate in unity building intensity until blister splits into blind star opening dark raditating plague dawn arrives late wings revolt tingle glow loud gush gross organ shout salute raven gorging on saturated vision rotting nebulous shreiking viral growth bursting lustful gnawing bones telegraphing wandering berzerker longing

something for y’all to chew on

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008

Drinking sour whore wine, waiting for the bastard to show up time’s not passing slow enough so I can’t pick its pocket, school of fish drifts through wall to wall, must spend too much time ‘round folks trying to eat’m cuz they close to the ceiling, too far up for me pass my fingers though ‘em for luck and could really use, I need it, scum fucks slipping up my deal already, I’ll torch their village, doggies gonna chew on their charred bones, yeah, slip it in there at the base of the skull, Hells! good slimy shove up, down, get inside to get outside, get tangled up in five directions to break into neg’ space ripping down pride-way of life glistening so greasy tacked on ruined walls, well tea-kettle looks like just you and me, scald myself with your clear bile to know better what inside rains amphibious cock-womb, scarlet neutral crotch stoned before storm plow deep, bell cocks rising with the horizon vibrating in moonlit care of void twaddle fop, scarred hip bone of cow harp melodies rapping ‘gainst my chin as I go down, face knocking stones pain blearing into beats sung sugary under my skull, cracked up flinging over paradise rotting smells better that way, gets you up beyond it’s tickling cunt finger splat sand in my eyes tears and swirls glowing deceptively in patterns, flea bumps into a hurricane, ground up to add spice on top of coven roasted head stump, child plop, cilia wiggle on your skin, up your nose, scream with your teeth, delights heaven hung-over with glass shards dropping from its face cutting down cherished streets and roads ending up in circles, well what else to expect? Don’t polish glass between us just kick hard enough so you won’t mind if it cuts you coming out, I sure hope it slices up other people, a cur can dream of flesh pooling under the cracks, dripping with worms, primping with scales catapulting, wires underneath skin props it up, dawn came in pixilated and no one notices and those who did are delusions clothed in membranes of bacteria seeking shelter, pine trees tell it better than any ghost pelt and slick prick’s up truck ready to take me, that road hits like an asp in the ass, coiled up cold waiting for the angel to pass by, sinking in sharp diagonal sleep-plots, then trampled to death but I’ll sleep with the one I bit tonight, if the sun’s knocked off the table, light rays shatter into grit, I’m rooting for the serpent wearing easter feathers under it’s ten, eleven o’clock eyes, may you swallow rocks and turtles whole and digest in tombs what you read between the dance moves of stars falling down heaving up undigested whisky cyclones burns holes in construction never finished to begin with blooming maggots like candy, strung up to dehydrate so can be rubbed against sulfur gums crying purple for relief of tense flow balls hitting windows and they don’t bounce off, rubanosa teeheelium build-wha? When I saw your face crows flying off with wilted flowers dropped on peasants like bombs and they ran as far, crouched under walls no longer walls, ceilings now flower beds for skeletons, frosted silk keeping inside what digests out of color into piss-white word on frail paper limed under spotless cars rolling against abstract designed to ensnare clear to mean business signs whoa neon get your gums off my suit of soul tattered fuck roped spells juggling spider breathing hoped for child is strangled and broken wearing skin of stuffed animal but he can still be president someday, that cork looks better in eye socket than you do, check, its five in th’morning, take my blood if you’re so worried bitch and let dreams dissect what’s left of sac containing bone beads, indigo, harpsichords, oh ho ho, condom dried onto sidewalk, crust lettered cum moldering pleasure felt from behind so long after, well it unnerves when it comes back from dead saying what you claimed never to forget but wanted never to recall, hat makes you look like priest orifice, blender take this arm in union chunk meat spinning holy matrimony, scratch off and win dog searching for lost tick under floppy ear to be cut off for visual verbal ferocityphilosohy, they gotta cut you for your good and hope-pure, got to be unsoiled so drill in brains to dig out frog eggs left by stupid mother hen when she was baking cookies and forgot you were more than a drawing taped above the room leading to stale fur, hair still clutching skin flakes, speaking poetry sounds better as nonsense magpie cries, royal swelling feast think they’re people, baked to take the shape of tin spilled into, tire rolling alone, tied still with shoe laces, plastic bottle floating over testosterone clouds inky film punctured by white fish belly visible over hundred feet away, ripped rust crunch slammed fuck damned, honey on your wound bee sting in the soup, silver egg venom end her noon elegance invading goats, host ill telegraph now, I’m managing but hurry up, numb agent can’t find sleep on way back from slow fed squalor, then wake everyone now, tell’m yesterday’s holy twat risen as evening bull break erupted, like a virus, surprise you’ll never get.

some things i’ve written lately

Monday, November 17th, 2008

While you’re sleeping disease machine long junk-jerk turn’d-over flesh purple-grey every cells excited to eat at last twitching no good for waiting liquid tentacle produces into space what suits the cries of reality’s crumblefuck to hell and back, could not contain and so you see hollow skull shattered forehead kaleidoscope glittering in pupils serene, ol’ cold yonder last seen wandering at noon no more, so long, may your teeth serve you well

hands gently sliding ‘round neck squeezin’ til burst, pulp blasting outta fruit gather the seeds, we feel and so do you, see it really can’t be any other way, but when you touch I know only ruins on hilltops coming down at last, let me die, let others take up life for me, spill me forth for I am nothing now but grounds, what wild calling grew falling down but without shame, no doubt of revival into ghoul wallowing at the feet of sideways pillars toppling before the sacrifice is served, observing what was lost and left on you face transparent, rise ‘n fall swaying cobra beguiles to swallow whole one seduced into their own death, sittin’ in gutters, bottle shards smile friendly, happier ‘an people, those pale projections of old news footage walking down city streets, no idea they’re just photography

morning smells bad, odor smacking me ‘fore I even wake up, dreaming of carrion maggot perfume, opening eyes to rotten plum carrot eggplant jalapeño orange stew juicy fleshy pulp spilt, colors melted together five million unpleasant ways. not alone, folded up inside crying parrot, my face ridden simultaneous pull-pouncing in all directions, decapitating cannibalized content to stare sublime fallow a strung up treasure luring tigers to impaled trophy wall socket gazing. What to trust, eyes frosting, glaring, gleaming acidic, obsidian-edged, felt-tipped leaving blurred lines, coked glass wall stains, devil’s sugar plummed fingers tracing designs on steamed windows looking out onto night. reflecting my face a bug on its back legs curled into bat flight, flocking home to sodden chest cave lips glistening blood fruit sweet, stuck with moth wings as I move pretending my open eyes behold the world they abandon collide entropic light strung juggle up ruined crumble fall finding coarse beats and gay despair, oily space bleeding cric-croaking moon-howling rust tracks cut up crass fields followed so lost, to see words in dust pressed out eyes with spider needles held bone flute crying do what thou will take me fractured flung on shore dried out fish husk shining in sand puncture-danced by raven-beaking harsh cheek strained to hold water, fallen desert cask taken down stone walls, cull’d sat with no head laughing die upwards falling to glow behind sunlight so fang-slurping serene spilling mint tea down shirt while sipping invert navel-grating eager-raged adder meat guarded under Ares’ rape-fuck murder child spilled from Eros’ cut stomach dawn guts unraveled light rays pouring all ways out, touch jump jab, poke and pull roots red squiggling shrieking feeling holes just left can only pulse so lonely.

something i wrote years ago on uppers (edited so it’s less stupid)

Friday, November 14th, 2008

how your dog dies, tree bark, a hundred misspelled words, all comparisons are futile, white paint peeling off a fence, dopamine surge, nothing but chemicals and goo, dried out millipede exoskeleton, hand moisturizer, shit lodged in a junky’s intestine, mold on a grape, dog hair in the sun, space between Chinese characters, bass guitar playing in a song you hate, mildew, mud caked on the bottom of a thousand dollar pair of high heels, duct tape covering a nipple, bayonet piercing a baby’s skull, broken teeth lodged in jaws of dead raccoon crushed by the side of the road, umbilical cord of a rhesus monkey born in the wild, sand tucked deep into the nostril of a crow in the desert picking flesh off a dead goat, coupon for something you would never buy, bent staple torn out of an important document waiting to be burned, outrageous sentence from a tract of right-wing Christian propaganda read out loud to friends so all can have a fun time mocking it, one of the books stored behind the library counter, probably something about sex, you never got the nerve to ask about it, much less check it out, extension cord connecting the projector to the outlet in the wall, dream you can never quite remember, safety-pin stuck though an earlobe and a few weeks later, a septum, sound ospreys make right before they hit the water, horseshoe crab almost died frying on its back in the sun, rescued just in time by a terrifying, gigantic five-year-old tomboy, dried slime on the belly of a frog about to be cut open by a team of high school students so they can know more about life, crumpled, unreadable newspaper blowing down subway tracks, mysteries homeless women tried to tell you even though you did your best to look the other way, blood clot in your heart, commercial for disinfectant skipped through so you can watch something more interesting like a game show, plastic sword came with action figure got lost behind the furnace never recovered, particles of green tea so small they fall through the tea ball and collect at the bottom of the cup, porn you found on you dad’s computer, lock on your door supposedly keeps the bad men out at night, crayon in the box you have never in your life used, hole ruining your favorite pair of socks, big bubble you wanted to pop but exploded just before you reached it, melted chocolate on your finger, leftover from a candy bar just consumed in place of breakfast, bag used to carry laundry back and forth, penny found face down, flipped face up so someone else can find it and feel like they’d discovered a tiny bit of luck, sounds heard coming from the bedroom next to you, might be a vibrator but you’re really not sure, until a cry of pleasure and all doubt is removed, ad in the phonebook that you’ll never call